Hearing an exchange of pity can make the child feel bad, wrong, or worthless. Approaching parents with pity undermines all that, and some parents take offense to those statements.Ĭhildren with autism often listen closely to what adults say, activists explain. Don’t Approach Parents With PityĬhildren with autism bring their parents joy, and there’s plenty to be proud of. Follow a few simple steps to ensure that you’re considered a helper. Just as there are plenty of steps to support a child with autism, there are many ways to cause harm. Schedule a regular coffee date for decompression and chatter, or set up play dates between your children while you both supervise. If you don’t, provide a listening ear to a parent in need. If you feel comfortable with the idea, offer to babysit. Your support could mean the world to them.Īdvocates explain that parents would love a night off to decompress and get away. Just as you surround a child with autism with acceptance, do the same for parents. Accept the child the way they are right now. Look for things to enjoy about the child right now. You saw the child a year or so ago progressing on course, and now the child seems different.ĭon’t judge the child by past behavior or development. Some children with autism seem neurotypical until about age 2 and then they lose skills they’ve gained. Just let the child talk until you know one another better. They enjoy sharing knowledge, and they can talk endlessly about the subject without asking for your feedback.īond with the child by listening to the topic. Children can be fascinated by almost anything, including maps, numbers, recipes, geography, and more.įor children with autism, talking about these topics brings comfort. Narrow or extreme interest in specific topics is a core autism symptom. React as soon as the child does, but don’t fill up the silences in the interim. If you ask a question, give the child several seconds to respond while you look at the child expectantly. Leave space for a child’s responses, experts say. If the child doesn’t speak, you might be tempted to leave the conversation altogether. It’s tempting to fill up gaps in conversation with: Children with autism need more time to understand your words, especially if you’re speaking in a loud or crowded room. Give Time to RespondĪutism can cause slow processing speeds. Encourage the children in your life to do the same. Other times, they focus primarily on developing relationships with neurotypical adults and children. Sometimes, they choose others with autism. Researchers say people with autism can and do form friendships. Underneath it all, some autistic children desperately want friends. Children with autism may seem disinterested in spending time with you, and they may react to your friendly overtures with silence. Encourage FriendshipsĪutism often causes social challenges. When the child seems calmer, try the instructions. ![]() Tell the child, “Get up, and stand next to me.” If the child can’t respond, stay nearby and let the meltdown work through. Experts suggest using a gentle voice and simple commands. You could ask a restaurant to turn down the music, for example, while a mother attempts to calm her child. Parents often become adept at dealing with these episodes, but always ask if you can help. The child cries, screams, stomps their feet, or curls into a ball. When children with autism are overwhelmed, they can experience meltdowns. ![]() But we often ask them to succeed in grocery stores, airports, and classrooms. ![]() They thrive in environments that are calm, familiar, and supportive. ![]() We tend to expect a lot from children with autism. Plenty of options are available as you look for ways to support the children in your life. Let’s focus on the positive before we dig into what to avoid doing for an autistic child. The choices you make could inadvertently cause harm, even though you want to engage positively with them.įollow these dos and don’ts when dealing with autistic children to guide positive interactions. Like all children, autistic children deserve your kindness and respect. This involves learning what not to do with an autistic child and what can help to promote healthy interactions. But there are some general things you can consider to increase the likelihood of positive experiences. Autistic children are as individual as any children, so there aren’t set rules on how to interact with them.
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